Don’t Touch Me — I’m In A Flare

A while back I had got a very bad letter in the mail, which caused extreme stress and you guessed it caused my gastroparesis to flare.  I was highly nauseated, ready to vomit at any moment and the pain in my gut was torture.  All from reading a stupid letter.

I waited for my husband to get home from work so we could ‘deal’ with the letter issue.  Basically I as denied unemployment because they felt I was too sick to look for work.  I am, but wanted to work a PT job.  Anyway, not having my job or unemployment crippled our family.  I could not pay the bills.  There was no thought of going to a doctor now or paying for medication.  I couldn’t even feed me and that’s saying something (since I live off of soup and smoothies).

I was crying and shaking by the time he got home.  I don’t know if it was the flare or the news.  Yet I think I processed the news and it was that my body hurt so bad I just wanted to curly up and lay there forever.

bed with clock

My husband could only see how upset I was and gave me a big hug.  He forgot in that moment about my GP and I almost vomited in the sink as he did so.  I pushed him away and he seemed to get the hint as I headed to the bathroom.

That night was the worst ever.  Like I said, I just wanted to be a pool of flesh in the bed … alone.  In a flare my clothes and even the sheet bug the heck out of me!  No matter what I did he was trying to hold me.  I would flip is arm away and it would find it’s way back, I would push him and he didn’t roll over.  In all of this he wouldn’t wake up.  Ugg!!   I had 1 hour left until he got up to go to work, or I was going to the couch.

When he got home that night, I told him about what I went through the night before in bed.  He said all he knew to do to ‘help’ me was to hold me and make it all better.  Great?!  How could I be mad at that?!   I told him how sick I felt and that I appreciate him wanting to hold me ( to make it better) but it just makes it worse during a flare.  I gently tried to tell him so that I didn’t hurt his feelings.  Yet I didn’t want to keep it from him and let him think it was okay next time I went through this.

I am so lucky to have him in my life and don’t want to push him away.  I am sure he must feel neglected, yet when I ask he says he his fine.  On good days, he knows he is loved!

It is very difficult to balance GP and your significant other.   All I can suggest is to be open and honest with each other.

2 responses to this post.

  1. Thanks for your helpful post. Over time, I have come to be able to understand that the particular symptoms of mesothelioma cancer are caused by this build up of fluid between lining of the lung and the torso cavity. The infection may start from the chest location and multiply to other body parts. Other symptoms of pleural mesothelioma include losing weight, severe breathing in trouble, vomiting, difficulty eating, and puffiness of the face and neck areas. It ought to be noted that some people existing with the disease don’t experience any serious signs or symptoms at all.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: